After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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