I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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