4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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