ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
