So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
