I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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