He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
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