Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
