i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
