Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
then he tried to convert me to islam
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
