Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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