The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
