omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize