i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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