I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
