Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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