Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
