the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You are the jesus of drinking
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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