I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
