What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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