No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
