You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
