Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
