i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
