I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
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I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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