OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
