I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
