My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
