Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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