I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
