OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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