the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
