she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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