i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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