Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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