There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
