did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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