I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize