i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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