Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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