The maid of honor just puked.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
