nut hugger
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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