I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
50% drunk capacity currently
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Floor bacon is actually really good
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
