i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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