Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
