You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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