Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize