Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
