i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
