This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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