Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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