How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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