If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
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I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
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Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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