Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
