Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
