Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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