You made me cry and you don't even care
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize