why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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