I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
