brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
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My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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