The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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