I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
