Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
