Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
