I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
