did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
