it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
