His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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