In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
