she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
