we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
