I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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