you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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