I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
